Wednesday, November 3, 2021
The concept of gender, in its entirety, has been on my mind a lot lately.
This probably isn't surprising, given the entire name of this blog and the nature of my life; but in all honesty, the notion wasn't quite as centered in my awareness and thoughts for a while. I needed to work on other things.
Saturday, October 9, 2021
I started writing the document that became the beginning of this blog late on the night of April 28th, 2019.
2019 was a hard year, for me; that document started as a desperate dumping ground for words I dared not utter anyplace else, and over the course of the next three months, it expanded beyond what I ever dreamed it might contain.
Friday, September 3, 2021
Today has been ... intense.
This blog is filled with mentions and allusions to the things I endured as a child, growing up in a horrific environment, bouncing from one hellish landscape of neglect and abuse to another. I spent part of this morning doing trauma therapy exercises, writing freehand with a purple pen on printer paper, about those chunks of experience.
Read the rest of Meta: publishing some old things, finally...
Monday, August 23, 2021
I've been a big fan of writing down my thoughts for many, many years. I started writing stuff that (eventually) wound up becoming this blog nearly two and a half years ago.
Life doesn't stop, and neither has the discovery, the growth, and the change. It seems like every time I pause to catch my breath, I look up and realize I know myself better than I did the last time I took stock.
Sunday, May 23, 2021
There are some things that are hard to believe, even as we live through them.
I never really bought into the line that "truth is stranger than fiction." But there are parts of my life I couldn't invent, no matter how much I tried.
Monday, May 17, 2021
I have nothing against being wrong - not in general, not in principle. Being wrong is part of guessing, and guessing is part of trying something new; and, after all, one of the biggest reliefs of my entire life was discovering just how wrong I was about who I am, a couple of years ago.
But there are times when it's harder than others. Times when I have to just admit that I was wrong, and if there's any usefulness to be had from the mistake, it's lost in the sheer pain of how awful the mistake was.
I made the mistake of thinking things were OK with my relatives.
Saturday, May 8, 2021
Yes, I am trans.
No, I didn't "transition."
Not the way you want to think of it.
You could say I transformed, perhaps.
Sunday, March 7, 2021
One year and one day in quarantine.
I didn't ask for this pandemic. It's not like anyone did, really, but that's also not the point; it's just one more thing in a long line of shit I never asked for.