Trans-Mission Logs of the Starship Gender

How to Change Your Mind

Wednesday, December 6, 2023

Ever been asked "where do you think you'll be in five years?"


I've never gotten that right. Not once. But today I want to talk about my favorite example of me getting it entirely wrong, and how that turned out to be a really good thing.


The truth is, I spent a decade and a half of my adult life struggling - and failing - to cope with my own mind.

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Grand Theft Starship

Monday, October 9, 2023

Life can change in some fascinating ways sometimes.


I started this entire project - the whole idea of Starship Gender - in early 2019. By late 2021, I was struggling with continuing to use the "Starship Gender" name, because the whole concept of gender was increasingly feeling like a massive lie I wanted to escape from.


And now, almost two years after that, I've reached an interesting verdict. I like the name, and I'm keeping it.


But the idea of gender itself can go rot in a hole.

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Rest Well, Buddy Fuzz

Thursday, April 20, 2023

Content Warning: pet loss, relationship abuse, various illness, processing grief.

This is not an entry I was expecting to write.

But sometimes, memories take a while to surface. Sometimes, we need a while before we can let go of certain kinds of pain.

I met Thor in September of 2014. He was a large, black and white mottled Alaskan Malamute - 54 kilos (120 pounds) of excited, energetic, loving dog. Standing on his hind legs, he could put his front paws on my shoulders and look me in the eyes. We loved to "dance," even though we could only to it sparingly to avoid hurting his hips and back (not to mention terrifying other people who weren't as keen on waltzing with a woof).

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Three Months of SwitchBoard

Wednesday, March 1, 2023

It's been about three months since I wrote Disability-Driven Development. I've written more about the future I think this could unlock, as well as the overall concept of what I'm doing with the SwitchBoard project. For this, I want to do something a little bit different - I want to tell a different angle of SwitchBoard's story. I want to share my commit messages.

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The SwitchBoard Strategy

Sunday, February 19, 2023

I'd like to take some time to lay out the ideas I have for the SwitchBoard project. This is a specific idea that arose as part of the Disability-Driven Development concept. It's also a concrete step towards the more radical, long-term vision I explored in Peeking Into a Future. The path from "here to there" is long, uncertain, and complicated - so I want to dig into what exactly I'm doing, and how I think it will help us get there.

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Eternal Futility and Executive Function

Wednesday, February 15, 2023

One of the more common day-to-day struggles of my life, as someone who is both autistic and invisibly disabled, involves coping with my very tiny pool of executive function. This is a fancy phrase to describe a mundane problem: I find it extremely hard to do things.

In order to continue surviving, let alone actually having any kind of life, I've needed to learn how to deal with this. Fortunately, even though "accomplishing things" is often a struggle for me, thinking about things is a skill I essentially cannot turn off. So, true to form, I've spent a lot of time thinking about how to cope with not being able to do things. This is a collection of some of those thoughts.

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Cultivating Community

Monday, January 30, 2023

I've spent a lot of time, over the years, thinking about how to help people connect, interact, and form community - especially in digital spaces on the Internet. I've participated in many kinds of communities, and been a part of shaping a few as well. This is a collection of some of the things I've learned along the way.

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Peeking Into a Future

Monday, January 16, 2023

It's been six weeks since I published Disability Driven Development. A lot has happened with that project in that time - more than I can fit into this update. There will be more news there soon, but I wanted to take a moment and explore a bit more of what I'm doing, now that the why is out there, as well as to dig into more detail about how I imagine all this unfolding.

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Monday, December 26, 2022

One of the most useful skills I've chosen to develop in my own life is that of empathy. This is an exploration of how we can invest in and strengthen that skill, and how it can unlock tremendous improvements in life - both within ourselves, and around us.

It is a glimpse into play as a way to befriend our imaginations; and imagination as a way to befriend everyone - and everything - else.

Perspective is a very powerful thing. It is also not something that our culture and world teach us to pay much attention to. Indeed, it is very easy to forget that "our perspective" even exists at all! Sometimes, if we have an experience of privilege, we can believe that our perspective is the "default" or universally shared by everyone; if we have an experience of marginalization or oppression, we may be told that our perspective isn't real or doesn't matter.

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What's in the Toolbox of Liberation?

Thursday, December 15, 2022

I think a lot about the wisdom and sentiment behind Audre Lorde's famous observation that "the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." It's a crucial insight, for those of us seeking better ways to exist, but it is after all more of a starting point than an answer unto itself.

There are two questions that this oft-recited quote raises in my own mind. First, how can we recognize which of the tools we wield are problematic? And secondly, what are our other options?

I am hardly alone in exploring these questions, to be clear; but what follows is a look into my process of trying to answer them.

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