Saturday, October 12, 2024
When I was a kid, one of the absolute worst things I could be was "weak."
Not because I personally had much issue with it - or much choice in the matter, generally - but because that was something that would invariably invite the harshest, most emotionally violent punishment and rejection from the people around me, both young and old.
Despite being a girl, I was supposed to become a Strong Young Man, someday, or so their story went; and as such, it was somehow imperative that anything resembling "weakness" be purged from my existence - using any form of harm necessary. To many of the adults in my world, it was considered something of a moral imperative to do this to me. To most of my peers, it was a part of their own process of becoming the people their parents wanted them to be - and, therefore, a violence they readily and willingly passed on to me, in an attempt to stay on the "right side" of their own upbringings and elders.
I am now in my late 30s, and disabled.
There are a few things that I am profoundly, deeply, and intensely grateful for, in my life today - which, make no mistake, is often remarkably difficult and fraught with brutal daily struggles. But I think, at this moment in my life, the thing I cherish the most is my weakness.
Read the rest of The Priceless Gift of Weakness...
Wednesday, August 7, 2024
What on earth could men's fashion, ancient Roman conquest, the fact that I speak English, and global climate change possibly all have in common?
I want to go on a whirlwind tour of about two thousand years of human history, focusing primarily on events on the continent of Europe, but also their larger, and more wide-spread ramifications across the entire planet. As I've written about before, I love to ask "why" a lot - about pretty much everything. That has led me to explore a huge range of social, political, and cultural phenomena. I also have a deep love for patterns - ways in which similarity can appear, even in contexts that are extremely different. The combination of these factors creates a non-stop drive in my brain to find connected causes of very disparate phenomena.
In other words, this is a trip through time, where I want to point out a particular set of patterns of human behavior that are very rarely recognized as being intertwined. I want to share why (and how) I have come to the opinion that an enormous number of contemporary issues in our world boil down to people feeling insecure, and then creating larger and larger social and cultural patterns in reaction to that. This is a history of the very concept of "whiteness" and how it has affected the entire world, through a specific emotional lens.
Read the rest of A Brief History of White Insecurity, Part 1...
Thursday, July 25, 2024
Long ago, sometime early in my teenage years, I developed a fairly unusual habit. As it turned out, that habit became a significant part of my life - it directly contributed to much of my success during my career, it helped me reckon with some truly horrific experiences and set in motion a profound process of healing and recovery, and it has led to a kind of perception and understanding of a surprisingly large swath of the current state of the world as a whole.
It began as a way to understand things going wrong in computer programs. I've loved programming ever since I first learned of it as a young child; but as anyone who's spent much time around computers and software knows, things go wrong a lot. These problems - "bugs" as they're commonly known - are ubiquitous. Sometimes, they're easy to figure out and fix. Other times, they're elusive, mysterious, almost even seeming defiant in their refusal to be properly addressed. And so, as a young programmer, I learned the importance of how to dig deeply into what's going on, in search of genuine understanding, and in turn, of ways to truly address the root causes of undesired outcomes.
After a lifetime of making this skill a regular part of my everyday approach to life, I can summarize it very simply: keep asking why.
Read the rest of Why...